I took some time to write this blog because at first I was just too angry and frustrated. I wanted to rehash the whole fight, re-live each round, explain my strategies and how they were better than my opponent's, but I realized it was pointless. I had won a tournament late in 2012 which set me as #1 seed going into Provincials, with the rule that I had to be beaten twice if I was in a final, after the fight was over I was informed that rule had been taken out and they had failed to inform me prior to the fight, but had managed to let my opponent know. I spent the next three days after the fight raging at the Powers-That-Be in Ontario Boxing until I realized I had two choices: Quit boxing, refusing to be part of such a corrupt sport (it definitely crossed my mind more than once); or move on. End. There were no other choices.
So I've moved on. But it doesn't mean it was easy. How does a competitor get over a fight they know they deserved to win but didn't? First off - understand you were never meant to win. All the signs pointed that way from before the fight started. My opponent came from a club with a long history, had a coach that was on the National team as an amateur fighter and now helped coach the team. I came from a club that opened up two months before the fight. From after the first round my coach told me "they aren't scoring for you", I knew that meant going back out and fighting my heart out, but not expecting my hand to be raised at the end. Second - be sure of yourself. I threw great combinations. I slipped punches and answered with ones of my own. I boxed cleanly when my opponent wrestled and grappled. Even if the judges didn't want to admit it, I knew I was the better boxer that day. Third - take some time off afterwards. Part of it is a mental break to remember what you love about the sport, not just think of the wins or losses, part of it is a physical break. For myself it means healing up injuries I've been fighting on since November, waiting until the Dr. and my coach say I'm fully healed, not simply rushing back because I miss being in the gym.
I'm running and doing hot yoga every day to stay healthy and active but I'm doing something else. I'm in the boxing gym every day, helping my coach train the young guys for about an hour and on sparring days I watch and try to help my boyfriend train for his first professional fight in almost two years. So I'm keeping myself around boxing even though I'm not allowed to participate. I'm watching the young fighters progress, help them overcome mental battles or tune-up before their next fight, I'm learning the fine-tuning of coaching without overloading a fighter. I'm using my limited experience to let them know what will be ahead for them if they stick with boxing. Forget about the wins and losses, concentrate on improved performances. Don't worry about what your opponent is going to do because you can't change that, but you can change yourself from round to round. I've seen my boyfriend struggle with the lasting effects of a long-term injury but work to overcome it because what he's set himself a goal of fighting again. I will come back refreshed and mentally stronger, more sure of my abilities and ready to face my opponents across from me in the ring and the ones sitting on the outside pushing buttons.
